A woman whose previous marriage made her swear off ever getting married has revealed that her second marriage has now lasted so long and made her believe in marriage again.
She said her first marriage, which lasted for over 5 years, was ‘silent hell’.
When it was over, she said she did not trust menbor marriage again until she met the man who is her second husband.
She added that though he has no money, her second marriage has lasted because her husband treats her with respect and mercy.
She wrote: ‘When I married my second husband, we had nothing. Nothing at all.
Up till today, we are still building. We are still praying. We are still trying.
‘But this man… this man made me believe that marriage is not a scam
‘Before I met him, I sold bread for 3 full years. 3 years under Lagos sun and rain. My feet used to swell. My throat would be dry.
‘And the people I worked with would pull me aside and say: “Yemi, you’re too fine to be alone. Get a boyfriend now. Even if it’s not marriage.
‘And I would look at them with eyes that had seen hell and say: “If marriage is now the certificate people are using to enter Jannah, then let Allah Himself hold that certificate. I don’t want a man. I don’t trust marriage again.
‘Because my first marriage… 5 years of it was silent hell to me
‘Then Allah brought my husband to me.
‘Wallahi at that time he was also broken. He was also fighting battles I won’t speak about, because he hasn’t given me permission.
‘But one thing I know: He never made me carry his pain. He never said _“I’m suffering, so you should suffer too.
‘We didn’t do big wedding. No Asoebi. No Owambe.
‘Only my mother, senior brother, my senior sister, and my mum’s junior sister sat down. We did _Owori_. I packed my things and entered his house. That was it.
‘And from day one, he started proving himself to me.
‘When I was pregnant with AbdulSamad, our first born together, I was dying.
There was a 5-year gap between him and my second born, so my body was weak.
‘This man would drop whatever he was doing, carry me like a child, and take me to hospital.
‘He would go to Lagos, enter motor, and buy me slippers. Buy me pants. Buy me gown.
‘Money is not everything, I swear to Allah.
There were times I was on my period, bleeding, weak… And he would say _“Give me the clothes”_ and wash them himself.
He would cook. He would fetch water. He would clean.
‘He did everything my ex’s family said _“No man can do that. That’s a woman’s job.
And I never even told him what they said. He just did it, because he has the fear of Allah.
‘When AbdulSamad was 5-6 months old, I told him one day, voice shaking: Adebayo… I’ve never seen the beach before in my life.
‘We had no money at all in our hands then. Zero. But he said _“Let’s go.
‘He bought us 6 yards of Ankara cloth and we used it to sew matching couples’ clothes.
‘And we entered a commercial bus. Packed like sardine. Got to the beach. We had no money for a chair. No money for a ride. No money for food. We just stood. Two people, one baby, looking at water.
‘When it was time to leave, I said _“Wait. Please let’s take a picture. We called one of the boys at the beach. I think I used my own last money to pay for it, because his own had finished on transport.
‘But ma/sir… if you saw my face in that picture? You would think I was a billionaire’s wife. Because for the first time in years, I was genuinely happy.
‘Not because of money. Because of peace.
‘Ya Allah… Waheed Adebayo has tried for me. He didn’t have plenty money, but according to Allah’s Sunnah, he knew how to respect a woman. He knew how to be a shelter.
‘So let me say it here and let the world hear me: Money can finish. Clothes will tear. House can scatter. But a man who will wash your period bl@@d, carry you to hospital with no money, and still take you to see water when his pocket is empty That is rizq. That is mercy. That is a man.
‘To every woman who thinks _“I need money first before I marry”. Money is good ma. But marry a man with mercy first. Because money will leave you, but mercy will carry you.
‘Alhamdulillah for our life.’
