John Adesogan said that besides providing, the only other thing expected of men in marriage is “to donate sperm”.
He stated that women now also provide in addition to birthing and raising children.
He then warned women to avoid being desperate for marriage, adding that many women are better off single.
“I am certain this piece will make a lot of people angry, but I must tell the truth anyway!
“Yesterday, I tried to have a civil discussion concerning who benefits more from marriage between a man and a woman.
“I tried to project a nuanced view to keep everyone happy because marriages differ.
“In some homes, the husband does more to keep the home running. But in other homes, the wife is the one paying all the sacrifices.
“Well, except where I said I wouldn’t have married if I was a woman, considering how marriage takes so much from women.
“Many took to the comment section to air their opinions. While some were for, others were against. Valid contributions, I must say.
“But there was a particular comment from one man that caught my attention. As in, reading his take made me angry.
“His argument was that marriage takes more from men because the stress that comes with marriage makes men sick. He claimed that marital stress allows sickness to take a toll on men. Some even kpai at an early age.
“While this may be true, I totally disagree that men are more prone to health challenges because of marital stress.
“Can we just be honest? How can anyone make such a comparison?
“For my gender, only lack of money worries the majority of us.
“Unfortunately, it is not so for women.
“Should we start talking about the health complications that come with pregnancy and childbirth?
“I know a woman that became deaf after giving birth.
“I’ve heard of a woman that went blind after having prolonged labour.
“I’ve even seen a woman that went mad after a complicated labour, a condition called postpartum psychosis. She was still trying to look after her baby in that condition. I can’t forget that sight way back in my village. The child was practically raised by a m@d woman.
“Should we start mentioning diseases associated with pregnancy and childbirth such as:
“1. Dangerous high blood pressure during pregnancy that can damage the kidneys, liver, brain and other organs (Pre eclampsia). Do you know the number of women with blood pressure issues?
“2. Excessive bleeding after childbirth, which can cause shock or de@th within hours if untreated (Postpartum haemorrhage).
“3. Premature separation of the placenta from the uterus, potentially causing severe bleeding (Placental abruption).
“Others include:
4. Gestational diabetes
5. Maternal sepsis
6. Obstructed labour
7. Ectopic pregnancy
8. Birth tears
9. Uterine rupture
“The list is endless…..
“It takes the special grace of God to see a married woman that has given birth without having any underlying sickness.
“So, I insist that generally, marriage favours men more than women.
“An average man’s duty is provision. I don’t want to say it…but if you take away money, the only thing remaining that some men do in marriage is to donate sperm.
“Funnily, many women now join men to share financial burdens. Some women even carry more financial burdens than men in some homes.
“But that still does not stop them from being responsible for these other tasks that cannot be shared with men.
“Dear fine girl,
“Make I tell you truth ba?
“Marriage takes a lot from women o.
“Just make sure that, before you marry, you can take care of yourself. Don’t present yourself to a man as a charity case. If not ehn, you will cry (in Gehgeh’s voice).
“Make sure you are an asset and not a liability. Make sure you can survive independently.
“The reason is so you don’t get stuck when the marriage is not worth it.
“Hope you know that the reason many of our mothers ate the sh*t our fathers fed them and still stayed in a toxic marriage is because they didn’t have a life outside the marriage? They could not even feed themselves. They were totally dependent on the man.
“Please, have something tangible that can earn you a living before you marry.
“And please, make sure you find yourself a man that knows the worth of a woman, because even if you marry a good man, things won’t remain the same when you marry. Marriage is very demanding for women. You will need all the support you can get from your husband to survive in marriage.
“Find yourself a man that will pamper you and treat you like a highly valued treasure. Find yourself a man that is intentional and willing to pour himself into the marriage beyond just giving money.
If you cannot find an intentional man, I’d be honest with you, you’re better off single.
“Don’t complicate things for yourself.
“I wish you the best.”
