Not anyone of us, to my knowledge, understood an inch of the physical, psychological and emotional abuse and burden Doosuur was carrying. And that speaks to how much of a willing wife Doosuur wanted to be to her husband, Sefa. She really hoped her marriage would work, and those frank efforts—she made them in silence to the exclusion of even Sefa’s supposed closest friends.
Having to learn the torture Sefa’s calm wife, Doosuur, would later go through in her marriage—a marriage which we were part of its celebration up to the point of her death—has crippled the conscience of most of us; and the mean treatment meted out against her exactly opposes the values which many of us uphold especially as it relates to the moral and welfare of a girl-child.
There is certainly nothing at this point to say from Sefa nor his family other than a solemn and humble plead for forgiveness—sorry—firstly to the spirit of the late Doosuur, and secondly to her family whom due to ignorance, many of us including some of Sefa’s family members thought were overreacting following the d3ath of their sister and daughter. Their reactions were and still are justified.
Be that as it may, I also do not think at this point it is the right thing to denounce Sefa’s hand of friendship or condemn him irredeemably. These difficult moments put to test the Christianity we profess—tests the strength of our forgiveness where it would have been easier to grudge, judge and condemn.
It is a time to reflect and see how much Sefa could be rehabilitated and possibly given a chance for redemption and amends—if he is willing.
Like many of us who wallow in our imperfections and walk earthly paths with unspeakable sins but God has always shown us mercy, may God forgive Sefa and give him a chance to live right so to make heaven someday.
By her grave in Kwande where I stood, I shaded tears not because she d!ed, but the pains she bore before her d3ath.
It is painful but May God rest her kind soul eternally, and grant us all the strength to move o.
